In Review

I am writing this now on my way home from Poland. We flew out of Prague again. The following is my final reflections on the trip.

First, you must understand that this trip has physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted me. We visited a lot of very difficult sites, where we proposed a lot of unanswerable questions, in a very short period of time. Everything I have written is true, most was written at the moment I was experiencing, if not immediately after. 

Second, it is important to realize that I have literally retraced my Great Grandmother's steps over the course of the trip. I started out in what was once Czechoslovakia, traveled through Poland to Auschwitz, and then went back to Prague, where my great grandparents met up after the war. This trip was especially close to my heart for that reason. 

Third, my grandmother got her revenge. In spite of everything, she survived hell and built and beautiful Jewish family. And then her great granddaughter was able to return to the place of her suffering. The Nazis tried to destroy her, but her family lived on and will never forget what happened. I am proof of that. 

If I had to do it all over again would I still choose to go on this trip? Yes. This might have been the most experience of my life so far. I'm not yet sure how, but it changed me. I think it's so important for everyone to make this trip, because in order to build a future we need to understand our past. Would I do it a second time? No. Once was one trip too many for me, though a very important one. 

When we finally arrived at the kotel for vatikin, I was so relieved. I wrapped my Israeli flag around my shoulders for the last time and made my way down the steps. I was finally away from the thick gray skies of Poland and back in the golden Jerusalem sunlight. As I davened at the kotel I felt an overwhelming sense of appreciation for all of those who fought for this state, the Jewish state, my state.